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“I’m not a good mother”: Dealing with Mom Guilt, Pt. I

Updated: Mar 2, 2023

Mothers are amazing. However, many of them often feel they’re not doing enough for their children. In part one of our series on Mom Guilt, we define what it is and how it can pop up in your life.

“Mom guilt is something that is very common,” said Relevé Counseling therapist, Jessica Olmo. “It’s irrational because when you tell other people, even other moms, they look at you like, 'What are you talking about? You did a great job.' It’s the way we feel as moms wanting to give our kids the best.”

Moms will often try to overcompensate by bending the rules or giving in when a child wants to do something. If that happens, Jessica says moms should ask themselves one question.

“Did I do this to make myself feel better? Or, did I do this to make my kids feel better?”

Other ways mom guilt can be triggered, include:

  • Yelling at their children

  • Feeling a desire to leave the family altogether

  • Working too much

  • Feeling like you're not providing enough for children

  • Comparing yourself to other parents

“It’s a hard thing to say, whether or not, mom guilt itself can escalate to a mental health condition. It’s more so that if you have a mental health condition, it can be exacerbated by the mom guilt."


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