Challenging Mom Guilt, Jessica’s personal experience, Pt. II
Mom Guilt is a difficult hurdle to overcome.
“It’s definitely easier said than done," said Relevé Counseling therapist, Jessica Olmo. Jessica experienced it herself recently by comparing her daughter’s birthday celebration to another child’s party.
“I had my child’s birthday party at my house versus her friend who had her birthday party at some place that was expensive and fun. Did my kid lose out because I didn’t spend that extra money?"
Jessica struggled with that guilt, until her mother brought in some perspective.
“She’s just going to notice that she liked it and that you were there and that you were with her. That’s a pretty tough realization. It’s pretty tough realization to know I don’t have to give all of the things. My kid, specifically, notices that I’m there.”
Other ways to push back against mom guilt, include:
Don’t guilt trip yourself: there’s enough negativity coming from the outside. Don’t add to it.
Create a support network: identify those you trust to share your feelings and get their thoughts.
Set your own standards: every parenting situation and chid is different. What works for other families may not work for yours.
Don’t compare yourself to others: it’s apples and oranges.
Recognize irrational thoughts: it’s ok to feel a certain way about things. Challenge those thoughts and determine if they’re warranted.
Trust your gut: a mother’s intuition is real. Listen to it!
“[Look] at the fundamentals of what is the most important: are your kids happy and healthy? If your kids are happy and healthy, then that is what they will remember more so than what you didn’t give them. They remember what you did give them.”